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If you are an unsigned artist, and you think your poopy smell like roses....please send me a MySpace link. For serious. I do most of my work via MySpace.

I'm always looking for the next best thing. And if that's you, then why you ain't already befriended me? I mean, you see how my typing skills rock harder than your mom to some Aerosmith!

Get to know me Old School Style.

For more information on band I'm interested in- mostly unsigned or lesser known acts- befriend me on MySpace and watch my friends list.

If the bands choose to accept my hand in friendship, that is.

Now That We're Friends...

OK. 

So now that we know each other (and yes- I'm talking to myself with all of my....self....reader)

I feel it's safe enough to announce my favorite song.

It took me forever to decide this- and much consequent listening and debating to make it official.

The song? Save it for Later

by

The English Beat

Not only is Dave the writer singer the coolest dude ever. Ever. But- the song was founded on an amateur mistake- which makes me love it more.

See, old Dave was trying to write a song as he tuned his guitar to his favorite inspiration's tuning (CADDAD). But being new, Dave accidentally tuned to CADAAD. And this baby was born.

It's like the "Oops Baby" that became president.

Nothing will ever be able to fill the void that this song does. It's my favorite. And it's official.

What I'm Listening To...

Here's what I'm listening to this week. Again. Crap. It's been a week. I feel like I'm 90 already. Because I age like that. I'm Benjamin Buttons in reverse. Which is like Junior, I guess. Yeah, I'm the Brad Pitt of Robin Williams...es.... and yes. I know I need to stop talking (typing.)

So here's my weekly rotation of what I'm listening to. These are all what I call "oldies but goodies." And I'm not focusing on albums- rather the inspiration is the fact that I live on a rock in the middle of the ocean. And I need alternative landscapes to not get island fever- so these songs anticipate my needs. And fulfill them.

As Mario 64 would say= Heeeeere we gooo! (wooo! pah! woohpah!):

1. Andrew Bird

"Fake Palindromes"

This song makes me feel like I'm on a plane whose destination I know not. Kind of like how I ended up leaving LA and going to Hawaii. That and also getting drunk and buying a one way ticket and not having enough cash to get back without sending your friend back the way he came when we both woke up and realized---how the hell did we get to Hawaii? (Also, note of advice: you won't get good one way ticket deals if you first ask the airport attendant at 2 am what the cheapest one way tickets to the D.C. area (during the democratic convention) may be- and have no check-on's save backpacks. They then rape you and tell you its 8 bajillion dollars for one way tickets to Oahu. And cavity search you. And you're so drunk and tired and can't believe you're at the airport, so hell yes- sign me up for anything that might point my way to the nearest drinking establishment.... Not that I would know.)

Best (non)decision of my life. Wait. No that wasn't me. I swear on my....crap I don't even like to swear.

But this song? Good. Listen.

I digress.

2. Pinback

"Good to Sea"

Every time I drive out to surf- and by surf I mean paddle for a few seconds until I get severe anxiety about a non-existent shark thereby swallowing a large powerful wave and swim down instead of up so I almost drown- I listen to this song. It makes me love the ocean for those moments before near-death. And I love it. And consequently also forgive the ocean for being so angry with me. I understand. I'm lacking the charisma del agua.

3. The Dandy Warhols

"Love Song"

No, it's not the Cure and it isn't featured on Britney and Kevin's reality series before she went ape-shit and made me afraid of umbrellas. Ellas. Ellas. Ey- ey. I hate that song. But good tune and producing behind it, at least.

Anyway.

Listen. Shhhh.

4. Elbow

"Forget Myself"

I heard this song at a photo shoot in my past life. What? Don't laugh.

Anyway- some of the better pictures I've ever taken. I forgot myself. And it made for good hairbrush pictures.

Anyway, inneresting. Catchy. And different.

5. Benoit Pioulard

"Triggering Back"

I want to be on a jet plane to another land with this song. I don't even know what's going on- but I feel like I'm headed somewhere. And that's all I have to say about that.

6. The Aliens

"Rox"

I played this at my birthday party two years ago-ish. I'm old. Anyway, everyone asked me what it was. It's pretty interesting up-beat chill-axed. And makes me want to punch someone in the face. It's a driving force. It's the butterfly that stings like a bee, no doubt. 

Speaking of stinging- in Hawaii, everyone's like- hey, we're rabies free and have no snakes. I listen to this and think I'm all fun and fancy free. Then I step outside barefoot one night and ZZZZZT. A huge centipede attacks and bites. It was so painful I stayed up all night laughing at how painful it was. Yes- it's no cobra need the doctor sting- but it hurts so good.

Word of advice: don't let ginormous centipedes get all up on you because they think they're going to feed.

7. The Brian Jonestown Massacre

"Anemone"

Let's have a moment of honesty. I'm not a huge drug fan. Now, sure- I've dabbled (not going to lie)- but I've never done heroin. To me? This song is slamming the horsey. For serious. I don't even need an advil to appreciate this. It's just soothingly lovely.

8. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

"Shuffle Your Feet"

I feel like I'm in prison on street clean up duty when I hear this.

And it makes me shuffle my feet. Give it a hear- and you'll understand. Enough said.

Oh brother where art thou? Right here, apparently.

9. Ms. Dynamite

"Dy-Na-Mi-Tee"

A band manager turned me on to this and wow. 

Ms. Dynamite apparently got arrested for punching a ho in the face. Yes. I said ho. I don't know, but from Ms. Dynamite's mind, that's how I hear it going down.

Anyway, this song puts the bad-ass in bad ass. I used to cruise to this- and picked it up again this week because I was pretending I was cruising through LA again when really I'm just cruising through black jungle forest-ness on the way home.

10. Johnny McGovern

"Soccer Practice"

This is one of the items that you need to YouTube and see the video.

Johnny was a comedian. And then he released this.

Just watch and laugh. And know that the song will stick with you well after. Trust.

OK. So I know I've been on an alt/indy/you're weird kick. Next week will be completely different, I promise. I'm already transitioning. It'll be like a Jack in the Box (but not the salmonella burger establishment.) You'll be like- hey, I'm sick of this stupid sound. Then Kaboom! ShamWOW! Different-ness.

Aloha!

Let's Discuss

Electric Six.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2a4gyJsY0mc

I dare you to watch this video and tell me it's not stupendous. The casting of the lady friend was most excellent. And the moose's signature scene? Oscar worthy.

So Electric Six was up and coming in Detroit alongside the White Stripes. Rumor has it that Jack's voice is actually the voice portrayed by the hilarious middle aged woman in the film.

They have such classic song verses as "Girl, I want to take you to a gay bar" and "Someone told me you were cool, but now I think about it that someone must have been you." Amongst many many other keepers. 

If I were a man and Electric Six were a chick- and a hot hot one at that- I'd tap that.

P.S. I'm electronically disabled. If the link doesn't work, go to YouTube and search "Danger! High Voltage"

P.P.S. I'm aware I'm redundant. I'm redundant. Know this. This was on my first post. But the music video missed note, and I think it's noteworthy indeed.

You Haven't Heard This

The track? "She's Expensive"

The artist? Dee

I passed this toe-tapper on to a DJ friend who loved it. Really really loved it and used it in his sets last summer.

It's pretty dance track-esque, so not necessarily your Sunday morning coffee track. But it's got a catch and a groove and it makes me want to take my pants off and dance. Did I just say that out loud? Well, maybe- maybe I'm wearing a dress with pants over it like Jennifer Love Hewitt used to do in her hey day. I don't know- I don't know. 

Well, if you're looking for a night time get me riled up kind of track, rile up to it. You know you want to.

Etu, U2?

U2 released the track listing and the sample track "Get On Your Boots" from their upcoming album No Line on the Horizon.

Let's just take a minute to discuss the situation at hand.

I didn't like the track. I mean it. 

I saw U2 3D twice. I love this band. If Bono was like- hey, what's up? I'd probably be all like- Nothing. But really on the inside I would have wee'd in my pantalones.

The song started off a little shaky and not as "new/innovative U2" for me, but I thought- I'll grow to love this, no doubt. Then comes the chorus. What the cleff? Really? Team? I thought we were friends.

I hope and pray by the graces of the Jesus that the rest of the album will blow me away and I'll learn to feel accustomed to this Boots business. And this better not be another one of those Viva La Vida crap situation where the song plays for four years on the radio at very high frequency and every time I hear it I contemplate driving my car off the road. Probably into a shallow ditch because I'm too young to die.

I'm so depressed I'm going to go listen to some Dido or something.

You Haven't Heard This

Unless you drive with me in my car without my knowing, you probably haven't heard this song. It should have been huge. Huge as in holy crap huge. The words make me laugh every time- "I'd like to like you like you like me" and "stop trying, I don't want you, you don't want to, you want me well? I want to dance."

Genius.

Listen to it. Love it. 

And dance.

Dangerous Muse

"The Rejection"

available on iTunes (recommended for sampling due to poor MySpace track quality.)

Something to Ponder

Marz.

Album?

Glad you asked: It's a little ditty called "Love Streams."

I'm starting to get over the old standard of electronica/mesh music. Really. Everyone and their mother has garage band, so I get it. I don't really want to hear your mom's music because that just sounds dirty.

This album is one that slips by mostly because of the track 'Everybody Had a Hard Year." Yeah. We all did. Have you seen our economy? It's like- I want to slit my wrists and go for a surf. Just really smart.

Ironically, the only other track on this album that's pleasing to me is 'Things Can Only Get Better.'

I'm not going to put my racehorse money on this album, or said tracks. Because hey- I need to be saving that crap. In a piggy bank where terrorists can't be all up in that. And that's how it works. For real. The terrorists say to the stock market: give me your money. And the stock market is all like- OK. 

Whatever. Just put on "Everybody Had a Hard Year" if you want to feel weightless during the dawn hours when your eyeballs don't want to be awake. Trust. It helps.

You Haven't Heard This

Crockmister types in his name like a twelve year old texter- LOL, BRB. For serious.

But let's get serious. 

OK. I'm not going to lie. I'm not peeing myself over the main track posted. But hey- it sounds pretty delicious. It's as though my ears are eating a fine appetizer. Of buffalo wings. Because that's how I do. And yeah, I'm all refined.

Anyway, if you want to add a country twang to an indie mix, check his stuff out. Like Lucinda Williams in male form and Bonnie Prince Billie had a civil union and shat out some little smart ass kid that you hate because you only wish you could've been on par with that crap when you were young.

It reminds me of a pretty innerestin' soundtrack--- I can't wait to hear his break out piece. Like acne. Just pop on out, there, good friend. Pop it out.

Something to Ponder

So the artist is DARK CAPTAIN LIGHT CAPTAIN.

Listen to the album MIRACLE KICKER.

If you like the dream state that was Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon meeting Zero 7's modern take on calming beach time music, check it.

And discuss.

What I'm Listening To...

Today I was contemplating the Japanese tourist. They take lots of pictures. But where do the pictures go? I've never been to Japan, but I'm pretty sure they use blocks of photos instead of bricks. Or a lot of albums.

Yeah, I drink a lot of alcohol.

Anyway, speaking of albums- this week I have in my car whole albums. Like really, it's practically a CD except I burned it from iTunes and use Sharpies to re-enact the cover. I think it's best to hear them that way. So this is what I'm listening to, and I listen all the way through.

Oh, and normally I write with a poignant wit. But I went surfing today. I can't surf. It was more like drowning with a surfboard happily floating by my side. I hate that board.

Business:

1. Califone

"Roots & Crowns"

This is the perfect soundtrack for the desolate desert drive through lava fields on the road to Kona. Because I know you do that. Don't lie.

"Sunday Noises" weans you in, but "Pink and Sour" really seals my deal. The rest just becomes magic in the background. Like David Copperfield when he's in his dressing room. 

2. Radiohead

"The Bends"

Radiohead puts the rad in rad. Know this. But there's nothing more soul fulfilling than hearing these guys rock out. We don't have trash collection here in Hawaii.

So we fill our cars with trash and recyclables and drive to the dump where       we get paid for bottles and cans not going down the poop shoot. The smell of   your car after a dump trip is exactly the opposite of the brain smell you get listening to this album.

3. Zero 7

"The Garden"

OK, so Jose Gonzales' covers are pretty amazing. But this album is moreso. I'm in a more downtempo way as I mostly listen to albums whilst heading towards my impending doom that is a three inch wave by Hawaiian standards. I know this. But they eat me like yesterday's Chinese take-out. Really fast and with many regrets. "Crosses" and "This Fine Social Scene" really fly my unicorn.

4. The Stone Roses

"The Very Best of the Stone Roses"

"Fools Gold" is as catchy as crabs. I don't know this from experience. But I'm not

saying I never will. Gross. I just threw up in my mouth a little. I digress. This  album makes me feel like I was 17 at a time when I was 2. And no, I have no idea what that means. But who even knows what the line "she is my sister" has anything to do with anything? Your welcome. I'm not generally a big fan of "Best of..." albums, but this one got me. It got me good.

5. Charles Wright

"Express Yourself"

I want to take my pants off and dance. Wait. But maybe more in the hypothetical sense. You think you're content in life, and then you hear the title track "Express Yourself" and somebody you never even knew existed pops out from inside you. It's like a nice version of a doppelganger. And without the stigma. Did you ever see the movie "Stigmata?" I did. Regrettable. But I liked a few of the songs. What?

6. Teitur

"Poetry & Airplanes"

I heard Teitur as an opener for a concert when I was in college. Just him, a guitar, and a buttload of candles. Candles everywhere. I felt like I was on drugs. Drugs? I don't even know what drugs are. But moving on, "Shade of a Shadow" is what hooked me. And then the rest- albeit somewhat cliche sounding at points---maybe I want a little something something different--- well, it really just makes me peaceful. This album almost didn't make the list because a good once over, and you're sorted on the Teitur front. But still- you can listen to the whole album without a pre-conceived exit strategy. Which is nice.

7. Electric Six

"Fire"

The music video for "Danger! High Voltage" is enough to make me want to sell my internal organs to this band after I die. I don't think they'd be much use to anyone since I'll probably die of organ failure. But still. It's music making and fine cinematography at its greatest. Check it. For serious. It won't be the biggest mistake of your life. One time I made a huge run for the border at the Taco Bell. I think that was the biggest mistake of my life. Just sharing.

8. Broken Social Scene

"You Forgot It in People"

When  I want to cry about absolutely nothing worth crying about- because, hey- I am a lucky dude(ette) who needs to get over herself sometimes- I listen to "Anthems for a Seventeen-Year-Old." Is it the violins that do me in? I haven't the foggiest idea. I just know this album is making my list for this week. My favorite part is just the 'now you're all gone, got your make-up on, and you're not coming back' deal. It's like two seconds. And those two seconds sold me harder than Vince from Sham-WOW!

9. Dark Captain Light Captain

"Miracle Kicker"

Ethereal. It's like being out in the ocean thinking the loud noise behind you is Jaws and seeing that it's actually a breaching whale. And it's the most beautiful

surprise ever partly because you praise Allah that a massive set of razor teeth aren't biting your leg off. No this isn't a surfing blog. I'm just bitter. But yeah. I don't have any astounding musical comments about this album- but I just like to hear it. Easy on the ears.

10. The Go Find

"Miami"

I just love this crap. And by crap, I mean glorious human excrement. "Over the Edge" is my ultimate 'I live in the Hawaii and holy Hamakua Coast' song. It just makes me want to spread love like Philadelphia Cream Cheese all over some bagel. Don't ask. Just shhhh. And listen.

So those are my weekly plays. Since this is the first post- you won't know that I'm not saying these are my new top picks- it's just what I happen to have in my car. I'll touch on new stuff and commentary stuff in other posts. But this is just for all the people who don't ride in my car and want to know what the clef they just heard...